Recently, Ron and I hosted a one-day retreat at our property, and it was a significant reality check for me. Since my early twenties, I had always dreamed of owning and running a wellness retreat. I dedicated years to studying and practicing massage therapy, art, drumming, and yoga, all with the vision of one day creating a wellness retreat business. Now, we’ve finally made it.
But the journey wasn’t easy. Fifteen years ago, I completely lost confidence in myself. After hosting three successful retreats in various locations, something shifted, and I felt lost. I hit rock bottom—losing everything left me in a dark place, even contemplating suicide. My lights went out, and from that point, I had to rebuild myself, one step at a time.
The first retreat I organised was in the Gold Coast Hinterland back in 2007. Twelve participants carpooled to join a weekend filled with yoga, meditation, art, massage, music, and wholesome food. The host’s property offered breathtaking views, and after months of planning, the retreat turned out to be a transformative experience. The positive feedback I received motivated me to organise another one, but relationship struggles and life choices soon clouded my dreams.
In 2008, I held a second retreat, this time at a beachside venue on the Gold Coast. We transported about 15 people to an outdoor adventure park that offered bunk accommodations and catered meals. My two teenage daughters and their friends joined, making it even more special. The retreat featured yoga, meditation, drumming, surf lessons, and live music performed by Sebastian and me. While everyone had a great time, the caterers fell short, leaving us with less food than expected due to a mix-up with a larger group. Despite that, the retreat was a success.
In between the second and third retreat, I held numerous day workshops and retreats at my small studio in Eagle Heights. Life moved quickly, and so did I—there were two relationship breakdowns and three house moves during that period.
By 2009, I had relocated closer to my friend Carrie and rented a stunning pole house on a retreat property in the North Coast Hinterland. Nestled in the mountains about 40 minutes from the beach, it was my sanctuary after leaving a tumultuous relationship with Sebastian. But, as usual, he reappeared in my life not long after. The property itself was serene, with a tranquil dam covered in water lilies, lush green grass, and a huge shed perfect for gatherings. We hosted a retreat here with about twelve attendees, featuring yoga, meditation, drumming, trust walks, and even mud baths. It was a success, and from that point, I began to dream of owning my own retreat space where people could come to rest, create, and heal.
However, the next fourteen years saw me taking a long break from hosting retreats. During this time, I was far from being able to hold space for others. I needed someone to hold space for me. I was battling severe depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. My world had collapsed, and I had to find new ways to rediscover and rebuild myself, one day at a time.
I captured these difficult years in my book, Spirit Being Human – Discovering Resilience After Trauma (2023). My writing, art, music, and the support of a few close friends were the threads that held me together—just barely. Slowly, I learned how to reflect, share, and nurture myself. Over those fourteen years, I navigated three more relationships and continued to confront the patterns that kept showing up in my life.
Fast forward to 2017, when I met Ron, who would later become my husband. I finally felt safe, but life threw more challenges my way. In 2018 and 2019, I faced several serious health issues. Determined to complete my Bachelor’s degree in art psychotherapy, I pushed through a hysterectomy, pleurisy, severe hip and back pain, a 10 cm blood clot, and a pulmonary embolism. Ron supported me through two ambulance emergencies and a year of being on blood thinners. Despite all the setbacks, I persevered. We got here thanks to community collaboration and not giving up.
Life comes in cycles, remember to welcome the setbacks, challenges and unchartered territory it may just be leading you to where you want to go.